Life of the Lewis's

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Time Traveler

Time certainly does travel fast. It seems like it was just yesterday when the twins were born. Now, as of Tuesday, August 26th, they are four weeks old. ONE MONTH!! I can't believe it. At this rate, I'll be eighty years old, retired, and broke tomorrow. I thought time only traveled this fast when you were either riding a roller coaster after waiting in line for 2 hours, or when you "made-out" with a girl for the first time. All of them are fun, a little stressful, and a complete blur afterwards.

This past month has been challenging emotionally, physically, and logistically. It's been an emotional tsunami filled with wonderful peaks and crushing valleys. And I thought high school was an emotional time. Managing your "reputation", avoiding bullies, and puberty doesn't compare to the emotional toll that it takes on you when you have babies in intensive care for more than a month. One day we experience holding our children for the first time, and then the next we are awaiting test results for blood diseases....or infections....or brain function...or central nervous system activity...or blindness....or a number of other potentially deadly ailments. All the while knowing that 1.) they're at an increased risk for most of these things since they were born 2 months premature and 2.) if they test positive for any of these, the effects can be long-lasting, life-altering, and even disabling or deadly. So when the twins were diagnosed with MRSA, it was certainly a time spent in one of those "crushing valleys". Seeing them put in isolation, nurses having to dress in gowns and gloves when even entering their room, and witnessing their tiny bodies stave off infection was difficult. And unfortunately, the oft-offered advice of "stay positive" is easier said than done.

But the adage, "the lower the lows, the higher the highs" has rang true, more so than ever, in the past month. Because when I cradle my three pound baby in my arms as she awakes and looks me dead in the eye, smiles and reaches up and touches my face, it's pure euphoria. At that moment, it's simply her and I; creating a bond and a love that will literally last a lifetime. Or every time that I place my finger in the palm of their hand and they instantly grasp it and squeeze as tight as their little arm muscles will allow always brings a smile to my face and a sense of nirvana to my soul.

So when you ask me how I'm doing and how are the girls doing, and I nonchalantly say, "we're doing well" and leave it at that, it's because I don't have the time nor the energy to describe what has happened that day or the last couple of days. Don't be offended, but I've lived through it once, and I usually can't handle the recap for everyone that I talk to. Hopefully this gives you an idea of our emotions and a better answer to the question: "So, how are Taylor and Madison doing today?"

And even though I'm a firm believer in the proverb, 'what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger', this is ridiculous. I was misled last November when I was told that 3o was the new 20. I don't ever remember 20 being like this!

But as a guy, I get a pass on the physical tolls that Emily has endured over the past month. I won't get into specifics (she doesn't like me talking about her on this blog - but don't tell her I said that), but the obvious pains and complications that come with recovering from an 8 inch slit cut through your abdomen should be fairly easy to imagine. Then there is the breastfeeding/pumping. Wow, I had no idea the time, discomfort, and difficulty in the process. The twins eat every 3 hours, which means mom has to produce enough milk for TWO babies that eat every THREE HOURS. That's a lot of pumping. And once you decide to breastfeed, and mom starts pumping, apparently you have to do it regularly or her boobs get large and uncomfortable (like a water balloon left on the spigot too long). Ok, sorry Emily, that's all I'll say.

Emily has handled it all very well. I don't know how she does it. She spends all day at the hospital, changing diapers, taking temperatures, and providing anything and everything for our kids. She's the rock!

Logistically, we are retarded. For some reason, we decided to move shortly after our kids were born. Building a house, and consequently selling a house, requires time and analysis. And since the kids have recently began nursing every 3 hours, Emily has to be at the hospital all day. Therefore, most household tasks, research, shopping, and general chores fall on me. Thus, needless to say, our house is a mess, we have no food or clothes, our new house has only 3 walls (my new innovative design), and the grass in the lawn is 3 ft. long. BUT, my sand volleyball team is really, REALLY good!

Ok, so maybe it's not quite that bad, but it is tough. Emily's had to be at the hospital constantly during the last week or so. We do our best to get most of the household chores done at night (usually from 10pm to midnight) after we come home from the hospital. Otherwise our weekends are pretty valuable because it provides me some time to get things done around the house. We've got a lot going on right now - Houses, babies, KAFFL, volleyball, daycare, family events, work, chores, Indy, and THIS BLOG. And that's just on Tuesday! Hmmm, which one can I get rid of? (stupid blog!)

But in all honesty, I think we do a pretty good job with juggling everything. I'm pretty much a personal planning genius that focuses on the minutia, and Emily handles the "big picture" stuff that I seem to skip over. We make a pretty good team, just don't try waking us up before 8am or we will kill you . . . seriously!

I guess time really does fly when you're having fun. . . . or something like that. Either that, or I've found a rip in the space/time continuum that has allowed me to advance a month in Earthly time but it's actually taken me only a day to do it. OR, having twins in the ICU for 1 month+ is a time vehicle of sorts that allows you to move through time seamlessly. That must be it!

So Marty McFly, you're not the only one who can travel through time. . . . with your Dalorian and flux capaciter. . . you think you're so special. Well, I have two kids in ICU and I seem to be able to travel through time just as well. And I don't have to befriend an old, crazy man to do it!

Log of major events since our last posting:

Tuesday, August 12th - Taylor & Madison had their nasal cannulas (nose tubes) removed! They are no longer on any respiratory aides of any kind. The feeling was fantastic as their improvement becomes visible when tubes or wires are removed from their isolates. They are still receiving antibiotics for MRSA, but their energy level and activity level seems to be rising . . . which is a good sign. They received new isolettes (incubators) today as well. They change them out every couple of weeks for sanitary purposes, I guess. These new isolettes are a bit older and less technological. I guess that's good because they probably feel as though the twins don't need the level of monitoring that the newer isolettes provide.

Weight: Taylor: 2 lbs. 13.1 oz Madison: 3 lbs. 2.7 oz

Wednesday, August 13th - Madison had a picc line (peripherally inserted central catheter - form of intravenous access that can be used for a prolonged period of time) inserted into her right leg to administer her antibiotics to combat MRSA.

Weight: Taylor: 2 lbs. 14.3 oz Madison: 3 lbs. 3.6 oz

Thursday, August 14th - The twins began to receive iron and vitamins for nutritional purposes. Taylor stopped receiving antibiotics for MRSA 1 day early as she didn't have the infection in her blood.

Weight: Taylor: 2 lbs. 14.5 oz Madison: 3 lbs. 4.8 oz

Saturday, August 16th - The twins had the footprints taken for the first time ever. We will use them to put into shadowboxes that we received from Emily's cousin at a baby shower. The footprints were only a couple inches long!

Weight: Taylor: 2 lbs. 15.7 oz Madison: 3 lbs. 7.5 oz

Monday, August 18th - The twins moved UP to preemie diapers (Pampers Swaddlers). They had been in diapers smaller than preemies (they looked like doll diapers).

Weight: Taylor: 3 lbs. 1.9 oz Madison: 3 lbs. 8.3 oz

Wednesday, August 20th - Both twins were removed from their oral antibiotic which was administered through their feeding tube. They were given their first sponge baths by their Mom today! This involved just wiping them off with warm water. They weren't actually submerged in a bath.

Weight: Taylor: 3 lbs. 3.4 oz Madison: 3 lbs. 10.4 oz

Thursday, August 21st - Emily started to nurse the twins. The girls took to it very well - which is a good sign that they'll take to bottles easily.

Weight: Taylor: 3 lbs. 4.6 oz Madison: 3 lbs. 12.4 oz

Saturday, August 23rd - The girls feeding tubes were switched from their mouth to their noses. The girls have become strong enough to pull them out of their mouths more often, so they were inserted into their noses. This allows for easier breast & bottle feeding.

Weight: Taylor: 3 lbs. 5.8 oz Madison: 3 lbs. 13.2 oz

Sunday, August 24th - Taylor received her first "real" bath. Mom & I gave her a bath outside of her isolette. She was in a "bathtub" and cleaned from top to bottom! She seemed to enjoy the bath, which tells me that she'll be a swimmer like her mom. The girls were also taken off caffeine, which helped them to maintain energy to feed. Madison's picc line clotted, so it was removed from her leg and an IV was placed in her hand. The nurses took foot prints of the kids and put them on signs in their rooms. Cute!

Weight: Taylor: 3 lbs. 6.8 oz Madison: 3 lbs. 13.6 oz

Monday, August 25th - The girls received an eye exam for ROP (retinopathy of prematurity - abnormal blood vessels grow and spread throughout the retina). Both passed with flying colors. Although the test itself was difficult to watch. They clamped open their eyes and kinda poked their eyeballs with a metal prod. They didn't like it too much as they screamed and cried. Luckily, it didn't last more than 60 seconds, and they were back to sleep in no time.

Weight: Taylor: 3 lbs. 8.0 oz Madison: 3 lbs. 14.9 oz

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

2 Weeks Old!!

Taylor

Madison

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Taylor

Madison

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Taylor

Madison

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Taylor

Madison

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

3 Weeks Old!!

Taylor

Madison

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Taylor

Madison

Friday, August 22, 2008

Taylor

Madison

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Taylor's Footprints

Madison's Footprints

Dad getting ready to give Taylor her first full bath!

Taylor's First Bath

Madison

Monday, August 25, 2008

Madison

Madison - No pick line or IV in her legs!

The Girls' Current Weights

Monday, August 11, 2008

Taylor & Madison turn 2 !. . . . Weeks Old

Wow, time flies! Taylor and Madison are already 14 days old (as of Tuesday - 8/12). And that's the reason that I haven't updated this blog in a week. I've been so busy party planning for their monumental birthday, that I haven't had time to update this blog as often as I originally intended. I mean, two weeks old! If you haven't heard, two weeks is the new sixteen! I've booked Madonna to perform at their birthday party (she is IMPOSSIBLE to get a hold of), the Olsen twins will make an appearance as fellow twin sister supporters, Michael Phelps has dedicated his next gold medal to Taylor & Madison, there's a 300 person guest list, and we've reserved the entire 6th floor of the NICU wing at the CNH (Community North Hospital) as the venue. It's going to be bumpin'! They're going to get diamond pacifiers for their bday gifts from us and VH1 is going to film the party for their reality tv show, "Sweet Sixteen". It's going to be off the hook! Needless to say, this has taken most of the week to setup, so I'm sorry that I haven't updated this in that time. I'll try to do better.

So let's back up to Saturday, August 2nd. All of my frozen pizzas had been consumed (I grabbed about 5 frozen pizzas to stick in my mini fridge in our maternity suite when I became tired of spending $10/meal at the hospital cafe), Emily was mobile once again, and it was time for us to leave the hospital. Although we were ready to go home to our own bed and shower, it was very tough leaving our daughters there. Taylor and Madison have to stay in the NICU for several more weeks due to their prematurity. It was tough saying goodbye to them, but we knew that we would come back often to visit and we could call in for updates at anytime. Emily walked out of the hospital on Saturday only 4 days after having her surgery. That was a real tribute to her tenacity and fortitude. What a trooper!

I think we called several times that night just to check up on them. Our latest call that day came at 2am. We've called as late as 4am at times. I think the nurses are regretting giving us their phone number.

Sunday, August 3rd was a great day! We went to the hospital for several hours with Emily's parents, her sister, and a friend. While at the hospital, we were able to hold our children for the first time! Emily held Taylor and I held Madison for about 30 minutes each. It was awesome! We were able to hold them on our chests with skin-to-skin contact. The nurses stress the importance of skin-to-skin contact at this early age for parent-child bonding and emotional comfort and physical comfort for the kids. It was a fantastic feeling and an experience that I will always remember.

On Monday, I went back to work. It was hard, but six weeks with two kids in the intensive care unit presents a daunting challenge financially. Luckily, we have pretty good medical insurance so our cost should be minimal in comparison, but it was time to get back to the daily routine nonetheless. Time passed slowly at work, while Emily visited the twins at the hospital. She was unable to drive, so my mom took her to the hospital and I brought her home. I went straight to the hospital after work and we were there until about 9:30pm that evening. Weekdays are long days that usually include me working, going to the gym at lunch, then straight to the hospital after work for a couple hours. The meals that people have prepared for us have been life savers as we usually get home late and don't have the energy to make dinner.

Tuesday was similar except I took Emily to the hospital before work. When I went to visit after work, I was able to hold Taylor for over an hour. It was great bonding time and I feel such closeness to them every time I'm able to hold them in my arms. We were at the hospital until 8:30pm and went home emotionally and physically drained.

Wednesday provided a glimpse of what the next 6 weeks will be like emotionally. We found out on Wednesday that Madison had an infection and would be started on antibiotics. She had to have an IV inserted and blood taken. I went from the excitement of being able to finally hold my children one day, to the anxiety and stress of one of them having and ailment the very next day. And an infection in a preemie can't be dismissed easily. Their immune systems are not as developed and strong as ours or even a baby that's full-term, so the risk of complication or serious illness is increased with the simplest of infections and viruses. We would have until her blood tests came back to find out what type of infection it was. It was a long, sleepless night for Emily and I was certainly unnerved as well.

Thursday didn't bring many answers. Madison was still on antibiotics and Taylor was beginning to show symptoms (less active & no weight gain). They began to give Taylor antibiotics and took blood samples from her as well.

Friday we found out that Madison (and probably Taylor) had MRSA. It's a staph infection that is fairly common in hospitals and in the general population (about 30% of the population has it and doesn't know it). It can be easily transmitted, and in some cases become very aggressive. The idea that an adult gave the girls an infection really bothered me at the time and made me question the many hours that we had spent with them as well as the numerous visitors that we allowed in to see and touch them. We're we being too nonchalant with their fragile bodies? We're we risking their health for the benefit of parent-child interaction and bonding? Did our pride and joy blur our sense of well-being for them when letting visitors so close, so soon? The doctors and nurses assured us that we weren't at fault and these things "just happen", but they aren't the ones that would have to live with these questions for the rest of their lives if an infection becomes terminal. Weighing that fact with the nurses contradictory recommendations have provided more anxiety on top of an already stressful situation.

Saturday was a busy day. I did some furniture shopping, we had our first meeting with a possible daycare provider, we checked out the progress on our new house, and we went to the hospital. Regular activities help to distract my mind from thinking about how the twins are doing, but for only short periods of time.

I went to the hospital briefly on Saturday. I saw the girls for about an hour on Saturday night, and then let them rest. Madison seemed to be improving as she seemed more active and alert. Taylor's blood samples were coming back negative, which meant that there was a possibility that the preventative antibiotics had done their job of preventing a full-blown infection.

On Sunday, we called the hospital in the morning. Madison had to have a lumbar puncture, or a spinal tap, to ensure that the infection had not spread to her nervous system or brain. This was also to make sure that she didn't contract meningitis. These scenarios were unlikely, but the hospital does the procedure to be sure and cover "all their bases". We anguished for Madison, as we knew that the procedure would not be pleasant and her arms and feet were already bruised from all of the needle pokes that she had received for blood cultures and IVs.

They were holding off on giving Taylor the lumbar puncture until her blood work came back positive.

We went to the hospital to visit the girls on Sunday night. The girls seemed much more active and were back to gaining weight. Madison is back up to her birth weight of 3 lbs. 1 oz. and Taylor had surpassed her birth weight and is up to 2 lbs. 11 oz. Emily got to hold both girls at the same time, which was a thrill for everyone involved. We had our first family picture taken (see below) and left the hospital around 10:30pm overjoyed at the prospect of them returning to better health.

Monday brought some more details on the extent of their infections. Taylor's blood test results came back as negative. But she did have traces of the infection on her skin around her naval and nose. This is good news because the infection didn't enter her bloodstream and is less invasive. The doctor has decided to keep her on antibiotics until Friday (10 days from the start of antibiotics).

Madison did have the infection enter her bloodstream which means that she will be on antibiotics for up to 3 more weeks. She seems to be handling it well and it's apparent that she has her mother's strength and tenacity.

The emotional rollercoaster that we ride on a daily basis is intense. It's different from taking your kid into the doctor and learning that he's got the flu or needs an operation. I'm sure that's gut-wrenching for the day or two that they're in pain or under the knife. We don't feel that acute stress level, but we feel a duller, constant stress and anxiety level that persists through each day and will continue to live inside of us until we're able to bring them home healthy. Until that day, I'll try to keep updating you on everyone's condition and continue to give you insight on our daily thoughts and activities.

Madison

Saturday, August 2, 2008

Taylor

Saturday, August 2, 2008

Mommy Telling Madison Bye ... Until She Returns Tomorrow!

Saturday, August 2, 2008

Taylor

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Madison

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Grandma Mraz Changing Taylor's Diaper!

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Aunt Amy Saying Hi to Taylor!

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Eileen Visiting With Taylor!

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Daddy Watching over as Mommy Holds Taylor for the First Time!

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Daddy Holding Madison for the First Time! Madison Reached Up To Say Hi!

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Daddy & Maddy!

Sunday, August 3, 2008

adison Falls Asleep in Daddy's Arms!

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Kim, Grandma Lewis and Taylor!

Monday, August 4, 2008

Taylor Gives A Big Thumbs Up!

Monday, August 4, 2008

Daddy Changing One of Many of Madison's Diapers!

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Taylor - 1 Week Old!

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Daddy Holding Taylor for the First Time!

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Madison Resting - So Sweet!

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Taylor Stretching - Too Cute!

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Grandpa Lewis & Mom Checking in on Madison!

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Madison - Future Skier Like Her Daddy!?!

Friday, August 8, 2008

Maddy Resting With Her Pacifier

Friday, August 8, 2008

Taylor & Madison Both Reached Their Original Birth Weights!

Saturday, August 9, 2008

Madison

Saturday, August 9, 2008

Madison

Saturday, August 9, 2008

Taylor Lounging!

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Madison Holding Daddy's Finger!

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Madison Holding Daddy's Finger!

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Madison Smiling With Her Hat On!

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Mommy Holding Madison for the First Time!

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Madison Looking Up At Mom!

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Mommy Holding Taylor & Madison Together for the First Time!!

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Sisters Reunited & Resting Peacefully!!

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Taylor & Madison Holding Hands!!

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Taylor & Madison - Best Friends!!

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Our First Family Photo!!

(Sorry Indy! We Will Include You As Soon As the Girls Get Home!)

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Friday, August 1, 2008

More Improvement

Emily awoke Friday to find her feet, ankles, and legs still swollen. I think the toll that this week (and the past 31 weeks) has taken on her body caught up to her this morning. The combination of her soreness and pain from surgery as well as her general discomfort from her swollen body caused some anxiety for her this morning. Once assured by the nurse that she was progressing normally, she was able to settle down and get some rest. She's been doing great great thus far and her physical and mental strength is phenomenal. I think that the girls got their strength and resolve from their mother . . . which is fantastic!

Emily's doctor made her usual visit this morning. We questioned her about Emily's swelling, and the doctor confirmed the fact that it will take some time to alleviate. The doctor did order Emily to track her fluid input & output once again in order to ensure that she's continuing to release more fluid than she's consuming. Emily's continuing to walk around more and more each day, but does have to stay off her feet for hours at a time due to her swelling. The doctor also informed us that we were still on schedule to be discharged tomorrow. It will be good to leave the hospital, but tough to leave the girls here. We look forward to going home and seeing Indy (our dog) and sleeping in our own bed, but I'm sure that we will struggle with the fact that we can't simply walk upstairs to visit the girls.

After meeting with the doctor, we went upstairs (the NICU is on the floor above us) to see the girls. To our delight, the girls had the top of their incubators off. This allowed us to interact with the girls for quite some time. We changed diapers, caressed, and talked with the twins for 30+ minutes. We can do these things normally, but it was easier today without the tops of their incubators.

Another positive that we found this morning was that their breathing apparati were removed. Their breathing is progressing so well that they were upgraded to nasal oxygen tubes. These tubes can provide oxygen, but only do so if the girls forget to breathe. These tubes are not as invasive as the former apparatus and we can see their faces much easier. Plus, they don't have to wear their hats to keep the appartati secure. Thus, we were able to view the full head of hair that each one sports. As you'll see in the photos below, they have a head full of dark hair. This wasn't much of a surprise to either Emily or I, but we enjoyed seeing it anyway. Our experience this morning was the best I've had with the twins and it made me look forward to the day that I can hold them and take them home.

After visiting the twins, we had visitors of our own stop by. Friends and family continued to visit throughout the day. Some pictures of our visitors meeting the twins for the first time can be viewed below. Everyone who sees them marvels at their beauty and are amazed at their petite stature. They are now crying and opening their eyes fairly regularly. To have them look at you will make you melt and to hear them cry is both heartbreaking and enchanting at the same time. They are small but strong, as they continue to make positive strides every day.

Emily and I look forward to tomorrow and the joy that the girls will provide us!